Do people change? Can people change? Will people ever change?

We have all pondered these questions regarding our spouses, family, friends, politicians  - members of the human race. Most of us have introspectively considered these questions regarding our own personal shortcomings and weaknesses.  I think it's fair to say the majority of us  have a tendency to think if we can make certain changes in society, the world will be a better place. This line of thinking could be applied to friendships, marriages and political systems. You name it. The possibilities are endless, right?

Over the holidays I was chatting with my younger sister Sandy about the differences we have politically. I used the word paradigm to describe the concept of viewing an object from different perspectives. A very simple illustration would be viewing a cube that has all of its sides painted different colors. Depending on your position you might see a red top and a blue side. Another person viewing the cube from a different angle may see a red top and a green side. Although both viewers are looking at the same object, their interpretation of the cube is different as a result of their perspective. What you know about a certain individual will result in an opinion and attitude toward that person.  Yet another viewer may have a completely different opinion based on a different knowledge set.

Imagine yourself as the cube. Your imperfections, faults and flaws are mixed together with your strengths, talents and positive aspects. I may have a very positive attitude toward you based on my general assessment coupled with what I know about you, but my opinion will be based solely on my limited knowledge or paradigm. Another individual may know something dark or may have knowledge of something negative in your past. Their image of you may be formed by negative information alone.

How we perceive a situation also has much to do with our own personal lens.  When I was in high school, I found a copy of The Book of Mormon on a bookshelf in my home. When I confronted my father (an evangelical preacher) about the book, I was told, "you shouldn't even be looking at that book, it's heresy." According to my upbringing and as a result of that event, I subconsciously formed a negative attitude toward Mormons. I personally don't believe the same way Mormons do, but it wasn't until later in life while living in Salt Lake I realized most Mormons are just normal human beings. Your environment growing up may have a profound affect regarding the way you judge other people. 

Failures and disappointments tend to make us more hesitant and cautious. It's easy to see that the misfortune and personal defeats in our lives make us more prone to see things in a negative way.  Conversely, a person with a positive background will have a less obstructed view. It's our lens. 

Purposely adjusting your view to see someone or some thing in a different light doesn't mean you are necessarily changing. Change is subtle, and for most of us change typically happens over a long period of time. However, understanding can illuminate instantly, like a light bulb being turned on.  You can observe a situation from a neutral standpoint without becoming emotionally involved and without feeling like you're compromising your own constitution.  You can welcome those ah ha moments without feeling threatened. The time and energy we expend attempting to change other people might be better spent at changing our perspective. As a result our outlook becomes more open. When we learn and understand the differences in each other we can grow, and as a result we can replace our negative and clouded view with a clear and honest interpretation.